[WTF D&D?] Monkey

“Monkey is a truly unique being. Once he was an official of the Celestial Bureaucracy in the Outer Planes. However, for his tricks and mischief, the Celestial Emperor stripped him of much of his power and banished him to Toril on the Prime Material plane.”

Ok, Monkey er altså ikke en abe, men en mærkelig abe-npc, som D&D mener bør være en del af din monster manual. Hvorfor, kommer der ikke nogen forklaring på. Til gengæld står der under Ecology:

“What does a godlike being eat? Monkey can live on the very air. He does have a taste for rich food, fruits, and wine. He can eat prodigious quantities without filling himself. It is not a good idea to offer to cook for him.”

 

WTF D&D?

The online Monstrous Manual

[WTF?] Sværd med små tentakelfødder?

GæsteWTF? af Kristian.

Xaver

I bedste Dungeons & Darwins stil, er jeg indforstået med, at nogle væsener udvikler sig på sære måder for at tilpasse sig huler og fangekældre. Men et væsen, der lige som et Rustmonster lever af metal, som ligner et sværd med små tentakelfødder?!? Er det for bedre at kunne snige sig ind på rigtige sværd?

Ikke mindst fordi de jo ikke er constructs eller magiske skabte væsner. Næh, de  kan mødes i mating pairs og small family groups, med baby xavers’n’all.

Og så er Harpyer og Fire Lizards vilde med smagen af xaver. W.T.F.?

The online Monstrous Manual

[WTF D&D?] Underdark hipsters

Ok, mærkelig D&D-designer, er det ikke utrolig upartisk at gå i farvet løst tøj og bruge fez når man bor i gange under jorden?

Ulithari

Ulitharids, or Noble Illithid, are the elite of mind flayers, favored by their god the elder brain and free to exercise their will upon lower illithids and all other humanoids that fall under their power.

 

illithid
Illithid

The illithid, or mind flayer, is an evil and feared creature of the Underdark; its powers are formidable and it feeds on the brains of any creature it encounters. Using arcane powers, it enslaves or destroys its foes, which include such powerful creatures as drow and kuo-toa.

Kuo-Toa

…such powerful creatures as drow and kuo-toa.

Powerful alligevel? Det er jo en torsk med arme!